In an interview with Weverse published on September 3, EVAN, 24, who previously promoted under the stage name Heeseung, spoke publicly for the first time about an especially difficult period in his childhood. The singer revealed that he was diagnosed with malignant lymphoma, a type of cancer affecting the lymphatic system, when he was in the fourth grade.
“I think it’s probably time for me to talk about this. I’ve never mentioned it since I became a singer,” EVAN shared. According to the singer, the first signs appeared quite subtly. He had been coughing constantly and initially thought he simply had a cold, so he did not pay much attention to it.
However, while playing soccer one day, EVAN had only taken a few steps when he suddenly found himself unable to breathe. “I went to the hospital afterward and found out that I had cancer,” the former ENHYPEN member recalled.
The period of treatment became a difficult memory for EVAN. Nevertheless, seeing his mother constantly caring for him helped him try to remain strong. “The treatment process was not easy at all. But when I saw my mother taking care of me without stopping, I wanted to be brave in front of her,” he recalled.
Even in the hospital, music remained a part of EVAN’s life. When the hospital organized entertainment programs for patients, he played the guitar and even took on the role of host.
EVAN said he had dreamed of becoming a singer since he was six years old. However, during the years he was battling his illness, that dream was almost pushed aside as he had to focus on treatment and simply staying alive. “Honestly, I didn’t have the mental space to think about that at the time. I watched many of my friends pass away and kept thinking, ‘How much do I want to live? I want to go home,’” the singer shared.
Fortunately, EVAN made it through treatment and was given the opportunity to continue living his life. However, returning to normal life after his illness was far from easy. He said he lacked energy and struggled to make friends and fit in with people his age.
In particular, EVAN was repeatedly teased because of the way his hair grew back after chemotherapy. “My friends would often say, ‘What’s that on your head? Is it grass? You look like a monk.’ But I just endured it because I wanted to fit in,” he recalled.
By the time he entered middle school, EVAN gradually made better friends, but his personality had also changed. Once outgoing and energetic, he became more introverted and less communicative. “I haven’t thought about it in a long time. Remembering it hurts,” the singer said.
Experiences that seemed to have been buried deep in the past have now become an important part of EVAN’s music. After leaving ENHYPEN to pursue a solo career, the singer is preparing to release his debut solo EP, Death of Me. Rather than avoiding his painful memories on the EP, EVAN has chosen to confront them. He believes that his journey battling illness helped him better understand the meaning of continuing to live, even during the most difficult moments.
